One of the weirder things I did last weekend was when I was in Flushing with my friends Christina and Brennan. We had been eating nonstop for a few hours when one of us (me) half-jokingly suggested that we should get foot rubs together, and next thing you know we were walking down a dingy flight of stairs to a strange basement, where we followed signs with hand-drawn pictures of feet until we found some people who pointed us towards a dark room.
"What if we all accidentally get happy endings???" was obviously a thought that crossed my mind but like every other time, I ignored it.
The dark room had pink walls and was decorated with Christmas lights, and there were two old Chinese people already getting foot rubs. They were asleep. I was wearing a dress and tights so someone handed me a pair of sweatshorts that said BROOKLYN in cursive. I changed behind a curtain, about a foot away from a naked person getting a full body massage.
I went back out into the dark pink room and sat in between Christina and Brennan in our separate chairs. Three burly Chinese men came out, each with a vat of Vaseline. They got to work destroying our feet, and it alternated between feeling ticklish and extremely painful. Unfortunately I think I’m deceptively stoic in the face of pain so the dude rubbing my feet unwittingly tore me to pieces.
The Chinese men were confused by how non-Chinese Christina and I were and made fun of us for it, but thankfully Christina, who is a much better Asian than me, gave them shit in return. Everyone made fun of Brennan because he’s white.
After 30 minutes the timers went off and it was over. I couldn’t tell if my feet felt better or worse. The two old people that were getting massages beside us were still asleep. Actually they might have been dead.
We each paid $10 plus tip.
So yeah Flushing is pretty cool, you should totally check it out sometime.